The Perfect Storm
by feefsmall
Summary: Jackson is in turmoil. His best friend is engaged to the man of her dreams. He should be happy for her. But something's not right. My take on how things should go in the Season 9 Finale. Hopefully Shonda has read my mind! ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Jackson can't take his eyes of her, she looks like all her dreams just came true. He should be happy for her, it's his job as her long standing best friend, right? But he can't stop the lump from forming in his throat, the pain as his heart splits down the middle and the overpowering feeling of emptiness as it floods his soul. He's lost her.**

April feels like she is on top of the world, she is engaged to the man of her dreams. As Matthew spins her around once more, she glances at all her colleagues who are clapping and cheering. It feels like the movies and she's the leading lady. April' eyes search for Jackson in the crowd. When she spots him, a weird feeling creeps over her. It's like her heart is doing a somersault inside her chest but she immediately tells herself it's because of the events of the last 5 minutes. She's wrong.

April doesn't have a lot of time to celebrate her engagement. Owen politely reminds those gathered in the ambulance bay that there is a major storm on the way. The crowds quickly disappear and April kisses Matthew goodbye before running off to finish stocking up the ER with vital supplies.

"Can you believe it? Did that actually happen?"

Jackson rolled his eyes as he dragged Stephanie into an on-call room. Yes, he knew a major storm was on its way and as owner of the hospital he should probably NOT be doing THIS right now but he needed a distraction. He just HAD to forget all about the events of earlier on. He HAD to forget about how happy she looked. How happy they BOTH looked. But so far his plan wasn't working!

"That's got to be the cheesiest way to propose, no contest! It was like something out of a Disney movie. Those two are completely perfect for each other, did you see.."

"Stephanie?" Jackson yells, he can't take anyone.

"What? Aren't you happy for them?" Stephanie says as she sits down on the bunk.

"No, I mean Yes. I mean.. I don't know!"

Jackson sighs and sits on the bunk opposite Stephanie.

"What's going on Jackson? I know that you two have history but I thought you would be happy for her."

"I am, I am." Jackson nods, avoiding eye contact. "It's all good. I'm just stressed because of the storm. Can we stop talking now?"

Stephanie looks across at Jackson, puzzled and not quite ready to let this drop.

"There's something not quite right with you. Do you still.."

Jackson acts quickly and pulls his scrub top over his head, giving Stephanie his best smouldering gaze. It works and within seconds she is all over him like a rash, pulling him down onto the bunk.

He tries. He really does try to forget everything, to clear his mind. He uses some of his best moves on Stephanie and he tries to enjoy himself. But he still can't stop thinking. Why can't he stop thinking? Why can't he stop hurting?

"That was amazing!"

As Stephanie collapses on top of him, Jackson simply nods and stares at the bunk above him. He's bumped his head off that bunk many a time recently. This was the least popular on-call room, and Stephanie quite often asked Jackson why they always had to do it in this one. It was the only room with bunks, the others had proper beds. He always avoided answering her question. The answer involved April, and sex. April sex was the best! April. Matthew. Proposal. He's lost her.

"Do you wanna go again?" Stephanie lifts her head and gives Jackson her best puppy eyes. "Please"

Jackson stares straight through Stephanie, his mind completely elsewhere. He has spotted some writing on the bunk above him. He recognises the untidy scrawl.

"Mark N Lexie 4 Eva!"

Jackson becomes lost in his thoughts as he remembers his mentor . He remembers their friendship and the good times they had together. A hundred memories flash by within a few seconds. But one in particular seems to be on a loop, going round and round in his head like a broken record. He can hear Mark's words echoing over and over again in his head...

"I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it will cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it and you say it loud.

And then you go from there…"

And suddenly, it's like a fog has been lifted. April. He needs to tell her, NOW. Right now!

"Jackson? Jackson?!"

Stephanie is getting pissed off. Jackson has been acting weird for the last few weeks and it's getting beyond a joke. It's like he's been in a whole other world for the last few minutes. And now he's pushed her off him and rolled out of bed. He's pulling on his clothes without even saying a word to her.

"Jackson, what the hell.."

"I'm sorry Stephanie" Jackson finally speaks. "I can't do this anymore."

"You're right, the storm. Dr Hunt is probably looking for us. We should go."

"No. Stephanie, us. I can't do US anymore."

As he pulls his scrub top on and grabs his stethoscope from the floor, Jackson figures he should at least apologise to the poor girl before he runs out the door.

"I'm sorry, I really am. You're a great girl and I promise to explain later but I need to go. NOW!"

Jackson doesn't even give Stephanie a chance to argue with him. He runs out of the on-call room, leaving the door wide open. He hears the giggles of several nurses who know exactly what he was doing a few minutes ago. He doesn't look back. If he did, he would see Stephanie struggling to cover her modesty enough to cross the room and slam the door shut.

April has been staring at the same patient chart for the last 5 minutes. Reading it, over and over, trying to take in the vital information she needs to make a diagnosis. It's no use, she can't concentrate. All she can think about it Matthew. Sweet, caring, funny and handsome Matthew. He loves her. He tells her so on a daily basis. Sometimes on an hourly basis. And she says it back. And sometimes she thinks she means it. She should love him, he is perfect for her. But there's something not right. Wait, no. She's being crazy April again. It's all fine. She's engaged! Matthew loves her. She's found someone who loves her. Breathe April. Breathe!

Jackson stops to take a breath as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. He knew he should have waited for the lift!

"Jackson, where the hell have you been? I've been paging you. We need you in the pit. The storm's beginning to hit hard across town. It's all quiet for now but soon we'll be swamped! I need all hands on deck." Owen talks quickly while beginning to head up the stairs.

"Sure, sorry. I'm on my way there. Where's April?"

"She's with a patient in room 5. I'll be back down in a few minutes, I need to check on Meredith."

Owen had disappeared before Jackson could ask him what the problem was with Grey.

"Have you seen Dr Kepner?" Jackson asks the first nurse he sees as he comes out of trauma room 7. It had been empty and he's getting frustrated. He's searched all the trauma rooms and he can't find April anywhere.

"I think she's in the store room. Probably admiring that rock the paramedic got her" the nurse responds, smiling. If only she could find a man like Matthew to sweep her off her feet.

"Thanks." Jackson mutters in appreciation as he makes his way across the E.R.

Breathing in deeply, he opens the door. It's now or never.

"April?"

A/N - I haven't written fanfiction in years but I just had to do this. This is the way I want things to go in Thursday's finale. Let me know what you think. I'll start work on chapter two tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**April had just finished polishing her engagement ring on her scrub top when she heard a door open behind her. **

"April?"

"Jackson, you just about scared me to death. I was just getting a few things together. Is it getting bad out there? You must be rushed off your feet, being the big boss man now and all. Did you hear about Meredith? I hope the baby's ok, I mean she was..."

Jackson smiled. April was rambling, nothing new there, she did it all the time. But mostly when she was nervous.

"April!" he steps closer to her as he interrupts her.

"I'm sorry, it's just crazy out there, I should be out there getting things ready." April says as she pushes her trolley full of supplies towards the door.

"Wait." Jackson steps in front of the trolley and stops April leaving. This is it. It's now or never.

"There's something I need to say to you and I have to say it now or I might never say it. So here goes. April..."

"Jackson, I.."

"No, you have to let me say this."

Jackson can feel his heart rate increasing as the seconds pass. He can't do this to her, not on what should be one of the happiest days of her life. She's engaged for crying out loud. To a wonderful man. What was he thinking?

"Jackson?" April asks gently, completely confused and slightly concerned. It's been a few minutes since Jackson said anything and he looks like he's about to pass out.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, just ignore me. It's nothing, we should get back out there." Jackson sighs and moves out the way to let April past.

"Okaaaay then. And they call ME the crazy one!" April says jokingly as she playfully punches Jackson's arm and continues towards the door.

It was just a brief moment of physical contact but it was enough.

"April, I love you. I'm in love with you."

Silence.

April can't believe what she just heard. For a minute she begins to think that she dreamt the whole thing. But then he speaks again.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time. You're my best friend, but I want more, I need more. And it's not just about sex. I've watched you with Matthew, holding his hand as you walk out of the hospital together. Kissing him, holding him. I want that, I want you! I want you to be there when I wake up in the morning, every morning. I want to be there for you when you're upset. I want to lie in bed with you and stare into those beautiful eyes. I want to grow old with you. I want to hold your hand at our kids graduation, cry with you when they leave us for college but then help you decorate their bedroom while they're gone! I want us to be one of those old couples who still hold hands when we walk through town. I can't just sit back and watch you have all these moments with someone else. I just can't. I can't! I'm in love with you."

Jackson finally stops to breathe. April is still standing with her back to him. She's in shock, complete shock. Silence fills the room once more.

"April, turn around. Say something."

"You son of a bitch!"

Jackson swallows. Okay, on second thoughts, don't say anything. Silence is good!

"How can you do this to me? You had me Jackson, you had me but I wasn't good enough for you. You couldn't.."

"You were perfect for me, I just didn't think you were serious about us, about ME. That's why I thought we should go back to being friends." Jackson sighs deeply.

April finally turns around to face Jackson, staring straight into his eyes.

" You gave it all up, and what for? To screw an intern. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? And now, just when I thought we were getting back to a good place, just when I thought I had my best friend back.. You do this... On my engagement day?"

Jackson can see tears forming in April's eyes. This isn't going exactly how he planned it, although he didn't really plan it. Maybe that's where he went wrong. What was he thinking? What was Sloan thinking? Screw you Mark Sloan, screw you! But as the seconds fly past, Jackson realises that a weight has lifted from his chest.

"I never ever meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry, I know my timing is awful but I just had to tell you. I couldn't keep it inside any longer. I'm sorry April. I'm so sorry."

April can't stop a sob from escaping. This is so messed up. A pair of arms surround her and she quickly rests her head on a very familiar chest as she lets the tears fall.

"I don't know what to do. I can't lose you. " April says in between sobs.

Jackson pulls away and gently lifts April's chin up to stare into her amazing eyes.

"Listen to me, you don't need to do anything. Not right now, just please think about what I've said. If Matthew is the guy for you, that's fine. I'll be there. You're not going to lose me, I'll always be your best friend." Jackson's voice breaks.

"But you said..."

"I know, I know. And I meant it. I'm in love with you, and it will kill me to watch you with him, but if that's what you want then..."

"I don't know what I want. I'm just.. I need time. I just need time Jackson, this is so crazy. I just..."

Jackson brings her to him again, holding her, his chin resting on the top of her head. He leans back on the shelves behind him. They stay like that way for a while, minutes pass and it feels like they're in another world.

April can feel her breathing return to normal. Her head is pressed against Jackson and the familiar lull of his heartbeat has soothed her. This feels so good, so right. Just when she begins to realise that she could stay this way all day, maybe even forever, a door opens behind her.

"Kepner?"

Jackson and April both jump apart.

"Chief, what's up?" April shouts whilst wiping the few remaining tears from her face.

"It's Avery I was looking for actually. The generators are almost done, we need to look at other options. It's getting nasty out there. Kepner I need you to run the pit."

"Sure, I'm there." April mentally pulls herself together and heads out the door.

"April, we'll talk later, right?" Jackson grabs April's arm as she heads out the door.

April simply nods, gives him a small smile then runs off.

Jackson watches her go before chasing after Owen as he heads up towards the boardroom where the Emergency Planning team have already gathered.

When they reach the boardroom they can hear raised voices, no doubt a lot of worried executives arguing over the best course of action to take. It's going to be a long night and he should really focus. But Jackson can't stop thinking about that smile. Was he reading too much into it? Maybe she just felt sorry for him. Sorry that she was going to ignore all he said and marry the goofy paramedic anyway.

Or Maybe, just maybe.. Maybe she loves him back?

A/N: Thanks for your reviews. :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review with your good or bad comments. There are mild spoilers for the recent sneak peak for 9x24. The rest is pure speculation on my part. I might continue this after Thursday depending on how the finale goes. A big shout out to the AppleJack's thread on Fanforum, I am a major lurker there! Keep up your good work! ;-)

**April pulls off her surgical gloves and throws them in the nearest bin as she heads to the next patient awaiting her help. One of her patients just coded and couldn't be saved, its a recurring theme tonight and it doesn't look like things are going to improve anytime soon. The trauma rooms are completely full with every available bed in use. Patients are lining the halls waiting to be treated. April has been awake for 24 hours straight and fatigue set in a long time ago. As she heads towards exam room 4, she spots Jackson at the opposite side of the E.R. He looks equally exhausted but gives her a weak smile which says "Hang in there April". **

Jackson spent two hours in the boardroom with Owen, and other various department chiefs and executives. The storm was out of control, the whole of Seattle was without power. Falling trees and power lines had destroyed countless homes and buildings. Hundreds were thought to be dead and thousands reported injured. Hospitals across the state were bursting at the seams.

As the minutes went by Jackson got more and more frustrated and as they began to receive another update on the number of casualties currently in the E.R Jackson reached breaking point.

"Enough!"

Everyone fell silent and their heads snapped around to look at him.

"I can't take anymore of this. I can't sit and listen to you all talk about how many people are dying, and how there's not enough doctors to treat them and departments can't cope. Look around you, five of us in here are trained doctors. We should be out there, treating patients.. helping! Get out there and help!"

"But the plans? We have to stick to protocol." A female executive in a very expensive looking suit spoke up.

"Screw the plans and screw protocol. "

Jackson didn't wait for a response. He stormed out, quickly followed by Owen and a few others who went straight to their departments to report for duty.

Jackson shakes himself out of his daydream and focuses on the patient he is trying to stitch up. He had seen a number of horrific wounds within the last few hours. Usually he would be excited at the opportunity to put all Mark taught him into practice but all he cares about is treating as many patients as possible. He is running around like a maniac, concentrating on the major cases and passing what he can to the interns.

"Right, Mrs..."

"Bennett, it's Bennett and I've told you that 5 times already!" says his elderly patient who is not the happiest of customers.

"Mrs Bennett, you're as good as new now. Make sure you come back in about 14 days to get that checked. You take care."

Jackson leaves quickly, rolling his eyes. He spots April at the nurses station where she is frantically searching around for something.

"What have you lost? Beside your marbles?" Jackson jokes.

"My checklist, I can't find my checklist." April continues to look around while she speaks.

"What checklist? Hey, hey calm down. Talk to me." Jackson moves closer to April and grabs her arms.

"The checklist I developed before I became chief resident. I need it, it's chaos out there and I'm tired. I'm exhausted and mistakes happen when you're tired and I can't make another mistake like the last time, I can't. I can't Jackson." April pauses and bites her lip as she holds back the tears.

" I'm just so tired, I ache everywhere and people keep dying. They're dying, and there's nothing I can do. I lost a five year old girl an hour ago. I don't even know her name but she was so beautiful, she had the longest hair." April let's out a sob

"We didn't even have time to clean her up or look for her parents. It's just all so... so wrong."

Jackson pulls April to him and gently wraps his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. They are surrounded by doctors, nurses and patients but neither of them care. In the midst of all the chaos they both close their eyes and simply hold each other. It's only for a few seconds but it's enough. Neither of them mutter one more word to each other before parting, they don't need to. They both know.

Another hour passes and April is feeling a lot better after saving several critical patients. Off duty general practitioners and nurses have been showing up to help in any way they can and things seem to be slightly calmer inside the E.R while the storm still rages on outside.

April nearly bumps into Matthew as she runs across the E.R and immediately feels guilty that she hasn't given him a second thought all night.

"What are you doing here?" April asks Matthew but doesn't really listen to his response. A set of bright lights are shining through the glass window behind him.

A cry breaks out amongst the E.R as they witness what looks like a school bus fly through the air. It crashes to the ground and people cover their ears as the the sound of crushing metal almosts deafens them. Flames immediately ignite at one end of the bus.

"Oh my God" April joins her fellow surgeons as they run outside.

Jackson is the first to reach the bus followed by Owen who helps him to pull open the emergency exit on the side. What awaits them is horrific. Several children had been killed on impact, their bodies piled up, one on top of another. As Jackson crawls through the overturned bus, everything is silent. For a few moments, Jackson begins to think that no one has survived. Then the screams begin.

April is soaked to the skin, but she doesn't even notice. As Jackson and Owen work at one end of the bus, Matthew has managed to open another door at the opposite end and kids start pouring out. April helps a few of them inside before running back to the bus. A wave of panic overcomes her when she notices the flames slowly begin to spread along the bottom of the bus.

When the last of the walking wounded make their way off the bus, April runs on and begins to help Callie who is doing CPR on what looks like a 12 year girl.

"I'm fine Kepner, move to someone else." Callie says breathlessly.

April quickly moves to a young boy further up the bus.

"I'm Dr Kepner, what's your name?"

"Joey, my names Joey. My leg is stuck, I can't get it out" the young boy replies as he pulls at his left leg which is trapped under a long metal pole.

April looks the boy over, he doesn't have any noticeable injuries so she judges that it's safe to try to lift the pole off him.

"I'm going to get you out of here Joey." April says as she struggles with the pole. After several attempts to shift it she stops to take a breath and cough. Smoke is beginning to fill the bus.

The other surgeons lift several critical patients off the bus and onto trolleys which are swiftly wheeled inside by the terrified interns.

Soon there are only a few kids left on the bus. Jackson yells to everyone to move quicker when he spots the flames blocking one of the exits. He looks towards April, she is struggling to lift what looks like a metal pole. He hears her shout out.

"Come on, move. MOVE."

Matthew also hears April groaning and makes his way further up the bus to help.

"On the count of three, 1 2 3." Matthew shouts as April focuses every last bit of energy on her hands. The pole doesn't move.

"Everyone out, NOW!" Owen shouts above the noise.

Callie and Owen lift the remaining kids from the bus.

Jackson makes his way towards April, Matthew and Joey to help. They are now the only ones left on the bus. As they try once more to move the pole, April coughs and splutters as smoke begins to fill her lungs. Joey cries with fear but there's no time for anyone to comfort him.

"You need to get out of there now, that's an order!" Owen shouts through the door at the other end of the bus. When he sees no sign of anyone paying attention to him he shouts even louder. "Listen to me, this is going to blow any minute now, get out, NOW."

"We can't just leave him here." April shouts back, between coughs.

Jackson looks through the windows at the flames and then looks towards April.

"Matthew, listen to me." Jackson begins, not taking his eyes of April. "Get her off this bus, right now."

"Jackson, no way.." April begins

"NOW, Matthew. I'm staying here with the boy." Jackson shouts.

Matthew grabs April's hand and starts to pull her up.

"No, No. I want to stay too, I want to stay too." April cries while pulling away from Matthew's grasp. "Get off me."

April moves back to the pole and starts to pull at it once more while praying to God to help them all. The tears stream down her face as she feels a set of hands cover hers.

"Go April, please. Go." Jackson pleads with April, choking back his tears. "Matthew, get her out of here."

Matthew moves quickly, pulling April down the bus.

"No, Jackson, No. Don't do this." April sobs, looking into Jackson's eyes from the other end of the bus. Jackson stares back one last time before nodding to Matthew, silently asking him to look after her. He nods back and then pulls April out the exit.

Jackson tries to ignore April's screams of protest that can still be heard across the ambulance bay. He begins to cough as the cloud of smoke gets thicker and thicker around him. It's hot in here and he can feel his scrub top begin to stick to his skin. He looks down at little Joey who is staring back at him, wide-eyed and silent.

"We're going to die, aren't we?"

Jackson says nothing, but takes the young boys hand and squeezes it.

It takes Matthew AND Owen to drag April a safe enough distance away from the bus. They all watch the flames as they surround the bus, blocking every exit.

April finally gives up trying to wriggle out of Matthew's grasp and collapses into his chest, sobbing. "It'll be ok April, I promise." Matthew says calmly while rubbing her back.

A loud explosion rings out from the other side of the ambulance bay and a silent scream forms in April's throat.

For a few seconds, everyone is silent before mayhem begins once more. People running away from the spreading frames, kids screaming, sirens calling out from the approaching fire trucks.

Despite the chaos surrounding her, April stays still. A voice echoes in her heart... "I love you."

"I love you too Jackson."


End file.
